Grease-Free (No Bacon Throne)
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A celebration of culinary supremacy
Bacon is perfect.
Crispy. Savory. Unquestioned. A cultural cornerstone loved by all—widely regarded as a universal upgrade.
Today’s featured quote
“If it sizzles, it sells.”
— A totally real person, definitely unbiased.
Crisp
10/10
Sizzle
Elite
Hype
Max
*Continue scrolling for the full analysis.
5 Reasons Bacon Is Universally Loved
A concise, evidence-adjacent list for anyone who still needs convincing.
Flavor dominance
Bacon brings salt, smoke, and satisfaction in one strip.
Versatility
Breakfast, burgers, salads… somehow it appears everywhere.
Social proof
People treat loving bacon like a personality trait.
Cultural icon
It’s not just food—it's a meme, a movement, a mood.
Hard to dislike
So we’re told. Repeatedly. Loudly. Constantly.
Except… some people disagree. A rare subset resists bacon’s charm. Not out of spite—out of clarity.
Is bacon actually necessary?
A quiet question. But once you ask it, you start noticing patterns.
- Why does it get added by default?
- Why does it overpower the thing it’s “enhancing”?
- Why do people act offended if you don’t want it?
You’re not anti-bacon. You’re just… awake.
Observation
Bacon doesn’t ask to join the meal. It arrives and takes over.
If this resonates, you may be ready for the next step.
*No bacon was harmed in the making of this website. Probably.
Case study
A rare case…
There exists a small, courageous subset of humans who remain unaffected by bacon’s propaganda. Continue when you’re ready.
Belief
“Bacon is optional.”
Boundary
“Keep it off my plate.”
Outcome
Peace. Balance. Calm breakfast energy.
P.S. Click the site title in the top bar a few times. Nothing happens. Probably. Some say 7 is a lucky number.
Are you secretly anti-bacon?
Answer honestly. This is a safe space. (Mostly.)
Progress
0%
Question 1 of 5
When bacon is added to a salad, you feel:
Question 2 of 5
The smell of bacon is:
Question 3 of 5
If bacon disappeared tomorrow:
Question 4 of 5
Someone says: “Everything is better with bacon.” You respond:
Question 5 of 5
Bacon texture is:
Result
Complete the quiz to reveal.
Answer all 5 questions to get your classification.
Score
0 / 15
(Higher = more anti-bacon)
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